


Clumsy

by 1000lux



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Mishaps, Negan is dealing with his crush, but it came to me while listening to the song, nothing bad happens, preslash, this is pretty much bullshit...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-10-23 00:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10708356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000lux/pseuds/1000lux
Summary: Negan is realising that he's having slight problems focusing when around Rick.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story for this beautiful ship and in this fandom as well.
> 
> Finally I'm contributing something to the Rick/Negan tag instead of just compulsively checking it every five minutes. Whether it's a constructive contribution, well, I guess that's for you to decide.

The first time that I saw your eyes  
Boy, you looked right through me, mmm, mmm  
Play it cool, but I knew you knew  
That cupid hit me, mmm, mmm

(Fergie - Clumsy)

***

Things have been good. Things have been real fucking splendid. Loads of stuff to take home. None of the communities giving him any trouble. Regularly picking on Rick. 

Negan is in a damn fine mood.

Maybe he wouldn't have to pay a little surprise visit to Alexandria quite that often, but hell, who's he to deny himself any form of indulgence.

*

"Alright, Arat, let's get everything ready so we can pick up Rick." Negan says, shrugging into his leather-jacket, before he picks up Lucille, dusting a smudget of dirt off her.

"Sir." Arat states, face expressionless.

"Yes, Arat?" He asks with surpreme indulgence, because, hell, he's in a fucking good mood.

"I figured we'd pick up supplies in Alexandria."

"Yes, of course we are, what the hell did I say?"

"Nevermind, Sir. My mistake."

*

Negan watches Rick walk away, as he dully becomes aware of a noise that's taking his mind of Rick's ass.

"–Sir? Sir?!"

"What the fuck's the matter, Simon? Is the business of loading up all this neat shit too much for you to deal with for five fucking seconds without supervision?"

*

"You know, Rick, maybe I want some of those frying pans you keep under the sink. Could come in real handy. Nothing but a good stirr-fry. Maybe I'll cook you one, one day."

Negan first enjoys the supremely uncomfortable look on Rick's face and then the display of his ass in those jeans as he bends low to pick up said pan. Not taking his eyes off him, Negan sits back down on the kitchen chair he'd been occupying earlier. Only the chair doesn't seem to be quite where he expected it to be and Negan sits down in thin air.

Rick's head jerks around at the sound of Negan hitting the floor and the choking sound that escapes his throat could be something like an aborted laugh. And while Negan's ass hurts and he's truly mortified and should be shit-pissed right now, he is too busy to admire the slight curl of Rick's mouth that's the closest to a happy emotion he's ever seen on Rick, to act on either of the recommended emotions in the current situation.

*

This is stupid. He hates trouble. If everyone would just do what he tells them, he wouldn't have to be here. But now this other community has decided to make trouble and he had to interrupt his afternoon nap to take care of it. Seriously, why these sorry tossers can't just keep their heads down? This makes him think about Rick. A dreamy smile spreads across his face.

His line of thought is interrupted by the shuffling to his feet. He looks at the sweating, cringing man in front of him who's distinctly not Rick.

"Yeah, so, what you did was very bad. Don't do that again." He saw some crates with fruit preserves and jam when they got here. Maybe he could bring Rick some. Would that seem weird? Probably not. Why shouldn't he support one of the communities under his protection? He hopes they have cherry. He could make some joke about popping Rick's cherry. He'd really love to see his face. Chuckling to himself he turns to wander off.

"Are we still going to kill one of them?" Simon asks hesitantly.

"Oh, yeah, right."

*

Negan is still caught up by the movements Rick's lips make as he speaks.

"Here, hold Lucille for me." He says.

Rick only looks at him dumbfounded.

"What's the matter, Ricky-boy? It's not like you two aren't old aquaintances by now. Only I hope you don't get too cozy with my lady."

Rick seems to be fighting an internal battle, before he finally speaks up. "That's a shotgun."

Negan looks at the hand he's just outstretched towards Rick. And hot-fucking-damn, that is a shotgun.

"Well, where the fuck is Lucille then?!"

"Is... is that a real question?"

*

That's not good. That's actually quite disturbing. Negan can remember another occasion when he'd been in such a state. Once. The last time he'd been in such a state had been... when he'd met Lucille. Fuck.

*

"Hi, Rick!" Shit, why's his voice so high all of a sudden. Negan figets with Lucille.

"Hi." Rick says carefully, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"So," he tries to go for boisterous chuckle, but finds he sounds mostly nervous. "What have you got for me today?"

"...Not a lot." Rick starts off, a dark, worried expression on his face. "We had a few unsuccessful hauls."

"Ah, shit, that's fine." Oh, God, does Rick know? Is it that obvious?

"It... is?" Rick replies, unsure.

Okay, he doesn't know. Everything's fine. Calm down, Negan. "Sure. Shit. You, know what, I gotta go."

He spends some time rattling the handle of his SUV, desperate to get away, before he realises it's not his car.

*

Suddenly Sherry starts laughing which isn't her usual MO during sex at all.

"Did you just call me Rick?" she asks with hysterically amused disbelief.

Negan catches himself fast. "Sure. You sprouting a bit of a stubble there, Sherry?" He rubs her chin.

For his efforts he gets kicked out of the bed and cursed to hell. But, fuck, it's not like he doesn't have bigger problems.

*

"Dad!" Carl says very alarmed. "I found him pilfering through your wardrobe!" He's still pointing his gun at Negan.

Rick is immediately in the room, all on edge. "You come into my house! Where my kids are! And you–" His face scrunches up in bewilderement. "What do you want with my clothes?"

"Pants." Negan replies quickly. "I need pants."

"They wouldn't even fit you." Rick assesses through narrowed eyes.

"Yeah, well, fuck, Rick, fashion doesn't stand still just because it's the apocalypse. Skinny is all en vogue now."

"And so is wearing your trousers at half-mast?" Rick asks, for some reason more amused than bemused by now.

*

Like a ray of sunlight and piss-poor attitude, Rick finally comes home. He looks good. Hair mussed-up, sweaty, shirt splashed with blood here and there. And, hell, Negan sure hopes to God he's going to take it off. Negan could wash it for him. What? He could wash him, of course.

Meanwhile Rick's made his way to the kitchen in long strides, which in turn has drawn Negan's eyes to his legs and how his jeans hug his crotch area.

"Negan!" 

Negan's eyes jerk up again to Rick's beautiful, alarmed eyes. He immediately, postures himself broadly in front of Rick, arms crossed, taking up as much space as possible in the kitchen.

"Well, shit, Rick, I went out of my way here to cook your murderous offspring some wholesome food, so he doesn't end up with some tacos in front of the non-existant TV. I think you should really start to appreciate me more. This all feels very one-sided."

At this point Rick just brushes past him and rushes over to the stove. "No," Rick goes on, pushing pans and pots. "I meant, your sauce is boiling over."

When Rick is done saving the dinner, Negan looks down on himself and becomes aware that the spoon which is still in his hand has dripped it's remnants of sauce all over his pants.

Rick's eyes go there as well, then move up to Negan again and, yes, this time it's definitely a smile.

"Now you really need new pants." Rick only says.

***

You know, this isn't the first time this has happened to me  
This love sick thing  
Cause every time a boyfriend and I break up  
And my world is crushed, and I'm all alone  
The love bug crawls right back up and bites me  
And I'm back

(Fergie - Clumsy)


	2. The one where literally everyone knows that Negan's into Rick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short something, since some people asked for a continuation.^^

Rick tries something new. He's not at all sure it's going to work. But, hell, all in.

"So, Negan," Rick starts. "we've been having a really bad week. And I don't feel good." He makes sure to look as miserable as possible. "Your guys have been giving us a lot of heat these past weeks. I haven't been able to catch a break." He coughs a little. "And I think I'm coming down with something."

"Well, shit, Rick." Negan eyes him concernedly. "You don't really look too fucking good either. Maybe you should lie the fuck down. Do you need something? Do you guys have enough meds? Blankets? Chicken fucking soup?" He frowns some more. "And you know what, don't worry about pickup next week. Take a breather."

 

Michonne looks at Daryl, then back at the retreating vans.

"Did they just leave more than they took?"

*

The guy who's leading this weeks pickup gives him weird looks all through it. Once they're done he walks over to him, looking confusingly wary.

"You know," He swallows, eying Rick with something like apprehension. "You and me, we are good, right? You're not going to complain to Negan about me, right?"

"No...?" Rick replies longdrawn.

"Okay. Cool. Cool." The guy scratches his head. "Just... if there are any problems, please come to me first. I'm sure we can work it out." He laughs nervously.

*

Some time after that it's Arat who shows up.

"Is there a problem?" Rick asks, immediately alarmed.

"No one else was available for pickup, can you believe it?" She seems uncharacteristically exasperated. "Someone actually signed up for cleaning the toilets instead."

*

"Please, Arat! I can't take the pressure anylonger. You know what happened to Petey after he took that grater from Grimes' house the other week. I can't go there again!"

"What's the matter here?" Negan asks.

"Everything alright, sir." Arat replies with a straight face.

*

Yes, things are going well. He's got a real firm grip on that Rick Grimes situation now. He's handling that shit real low-key. No way someone's caught on to that.

He had a few close calls there, but he's pretty sure Rick thinks they have a completely normal oppressor and oppressed relationship, again. No special treament for Rick Grimes, no sir.

Good. Great. So, now he can start plotting how to win Rick over.


End file.
